we haven't talked in a while but of course yu
still come to mind. but for some reason i feel emotionally attatched
to yu, nd right now it kinda prevents me from moving on. it's been
hard to admit this but it's apparent to me now. i feel like this blog
is really helping me move on. even if no1 reads it. lol. but back to the
point. its been sooo hard trying to move on. &&'d im a strong person
so i nvr admited tht. listening to those silly love songs nvr helped.
i wouldn't call what we had love, because at this age there is no love,
jss a bunch of new unknown emotions tht we have to get used no. even
if yu think yu are/were in love with me, i feel like i cn't have yu saying
stuff like tht. why do yu feel like yu have to hold on to me? i really want
to move on and i want 2010 to bring me something new, because last year
jss brought me the same bs yu are attatched with. i still sit nd wonder how
we ever came to be. we weren't even together, but it really felt like we were.
i mean, i was so ready to give you my everything. i was risking so much
for you, and now i look back and realize tht yu probably weren't doing
the same for me. at one point yur 'love' intoxicated me;; yu were my drug
nd i was so addicted. overdosed at sometimes. but after we were no more,
i felt myself having withdrawls. i craved something tht wasn't ever there. i
had so much faith in us. i put so much time in us. it was like, ovr a yr we
talked for. i knew yu for 2. i bet yu nvr even knew tht. this is getting long but
it's much needed. but i have a feeling 2010 will present something new for
me and i am so exicted to see where it takes me. wheew, i feel soo much better.
now i gotta go dispose of all pictures nd memories of yu.
Adios!
-Caree Renee
