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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Poem! @ 11:54 AM

Not mines, but it's so true.


“Loves Deceit”

Pleasure turns to the pain,
Of the lessons learned from the strain,
Of the questions burned in my brain,
About whether to love is humane
In its touch.

The good feeling of love is gone, and now it hurts. From heartbreak lessons of life are learned, discovering how much love can hurt. Love is pain, is it right to feel this bad?

These thoughts are like salmon
Swimming upstream
In the tears of your deceit,
Fighting the current hurt
That kills more than is created
By the chaos of our intertwined emotions:
Chaotic because the anchor
Of Eros’ arrow has been plucked from the vessel
Of my undying infatuation.

The thoughts of the broken love are difficult to comprehend, almost impossible. It’s like fish swimming the wrong way, nearly impossible. The feeling of a lost love doesn’t make sense, emotions running wild. Eros, the Greek god of love and sexual desire, now gone. Sort of like removing a love connection made by Cupid (Eros is less cliche then cupid, makes the poem a bit better).

Separation not as simple as the distance between us,
My mind no longer possessed
By the demons
That had been the overseers
Of my enslavement to your lies.

Being apart from love isnt as simple as something like time or distance, it’s more complex. However, no longer being in love has been able to get away from the person and lies.

The seeds of these lies,
Rooted so deeply
They have cracked the foundation
Of what we once shared,
Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside
To gush out like a river,
Ripping the image of our future together
From my thoughts
As violently and as brutally
As if it were a child being taken
From his mother’s arms.

The lies broke us apart, they ruined the relationship and the love that used to be there. He thought the love would survive but after it didn’t let the thought go. The let in the pain that was unbearable, refrencing a child being separated from his mother. Seperating something that isn’t meant to be apart.

I’m left surrounded in darkness,
But I refuse to be swallowed by it,
My loneliness like the night air.
Invisible to the eye, oblivious to the touch,
In its cold uncomfortableness.

Now alone, but fighting against the loneliness. Refusing to give into the pain. It’s overwhelming but able to be hidden.

Yet if I could do it all over again,
I’d do it in the same skin I’m in.
To lay down and let love die,
Just stay down and let love lie:
No, no, not I.
I’ll stay ’round and let love fly,
Even though I have seen its darkest form, deceit.
Nothing else could taste this warm
Or feel this sweet.

But if it could be done all over again, it would be done exactly the same. Basically “its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. At the end they still believe in love and they’d never surrender that feeling. Even though the end result was heartbreak, it was “warm and sweet” while it lasted.

by Big Rube


Charles Hamilton - Brooklyn Girls
(nothing to do with this but it's what im bump'n rite now.)
this is from a black girl to another black girl lol.
im not sure yu get my but it's jss a perspective.
i seen a quote like this but i cn't find it.
Whyy is it tht when a black females walks into
a room with another black female, she instantly begins
to act defensive, as if the new grl's presence threatens hers?
i mean, how can yu hate sum1 yu dn't even kno?
cn't we jss get along? we should be able to come together
nd share a bad btch personality to the room, not create a
hating enviornment.

aahaha okay,

we haven't talked in a while but of course yu
still come to mind. but for some reason i feel emotionally attatched
to yu, nd right now it kinda prevents me from moving on. it's been
hard to admit this but it's apparent to me now. i feel like this blog
is really helping me move on. even if no1 reads it. lol. but back to the
point. its been sooo hard trying to move on. &&'d im a strong person
so i nvr admited tht. listening to those silly love songs nvr helped.
i wouldn't call what we had love, because at this age there is no love,
jss a bunch of new unknown emotions tht we have to get used no. even
if yu think yu are/were in love with me, i feel like i cn't have yu saying
stuff like tht. why do yu feel like yu have to hold on to me? i really want
to move on and i want 2010 to bring me something new, because last year
jss brought me the same bs yu are attatched with. i still sit nd wonder how
we ever came to be. we weren't even together, but it really felt like we were.
i mean, i was so ready to give you my everything. i was risking so much
for you, and now i look back and realize tht yu probably weren't doing
the same for me. at one point yur 'love' intoxicated me;; yu were my drug
nd i was so addicted. overdosed at sometimes. but after we were no more,
i felt myself having withdrawls. i craved something tht wasn't ever there. i
had so much faith in us. i put so much time in us. it was like, ovr a yr we
talked for. i knew yu for 2. i bet yu nvr even knew tht. this is getting long but
it's much needed. but i have a feeling 2010 will present something new for
me and i am so exicted to see where it takes me. wheew, i feel soo much better.
now i gotta go dispose of all pictures nd memories of yu.
Adios!
-Caree Renee

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